Achieve your perfect balance with ‘yes’ and ‘no’

October 20, 2017

What is your perfect sense of balance?


Balance is about the different pieces of our life and work dovetailing harmoniously in a way that works for us. We cannot cut ourselves into different pieces. They are all inter-connected. And what’s going on in one area will always leak into the others.

This is why a sense of balance is so important; and why only you can determine what ‘balance’ means.

‘Yes’ and ‘no’ are powerfully influential words when it comes to defining balance. And just as ‘yes‘ and ‘no’ facilitate (or compromise!) our sense of balance, they are insightful indicators of where our balance is coming unstuck.

Our ‘yes’ and ‘no’ can also point us at what needs to change.

To know more about where you’re balance is right now, where you ideally want it to be and what needs to change to get you there, take a look at how you’re voting ‘yes’ and ‘no’



Achieving balance starts with self-awareness. Being attuned to what is supporting your sense of balance – and what is upsetting it. Ask yourself some searching questions about how you are voting ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to explore your priorities and choices.

  • How aware are you of things you say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to that alter your balance?
  • What do you notice about what you’re saying ‘yes’ to? And what you’re saying ‘no’ to?
  • What do you need to know or be in possession of in order to accept or decline something or someone?
  • By saying ‘yes’ to more of one area of your life, what areas are you saying ‘no’ to?
  • What are you holding on to when you cannot say ‘no’?

As you reflect on these questions, be sure to qualify real versus invented reasons. What are you really saying ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to?


Alternative Thinking

A stepping-stone on the way to improved balance is a fresh perspective that reminds us there are alternatives. So for a moment, experiment with the other side of your ‘yes’ and ‘no’

  • How often do you find yourself feeling stressed, dissatisfied and drained because you said yes?
  • How often do you find yourself feeling energised, in control and happy because you said ‘no’?
  • What would you get if you said ‘no’?
  • What would you avoid if you said ‘yes’?
  • Would could happen if you reversed all your ‘yes’ and ‘no’ responses?

The other side of our ‘yes’ and ‘no’ (what we get when we say ‘no’, what we lose when we say ‘yes’) can reveal hidden – and powerful – motivations. Explore these to get to the heart of what you really want.



Change requires action. Which requires commitment. And a decision. How will you now use the power of your ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to achieve your goals and objectives?

  • To have time for what’s really important to you, what will you now say ‘no’ to?
  • To stop keeping what you want out of your life, what will you now say ‘yes’ to?
  • What things will you change now that you can say ‘yes’ and ‘no’


Voting Yes and No

The difference between having what we want and tolerating what we do not can be as simple as the difference between ‘yes’ and ‘no’. So notice how you’re using your ‘yes’ and ‘no’; look for alternatives in the other side of your ‘yes’ and ‘no’; and then decide:

  • What do you want to say ‘yes’ to in your life?
  • What do you want to say ‘no’ to in your life?


SOURCE: Dan Beverly

Dan BeverlyDan Beverly is a leadership and performance coach, helping high-achieving professional women embrace the pivotal career moments.


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